Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Don't Feed the Animals

Today I was hanging out with a co-worker, eating some peanuts, and she said "Here, catch one in your mouth." After that I had to explain to her that, while I like catching things in my mouth - it's fun, I won't catch anything that animals at the zoo catch in their mouths or have thrown at them. That means nothing in the shape of peanuts (elephants), bananas (monkeys), steaks (lions), fish (seals/penguins/turtles), bones (dingos), pellets (petting zoo/birds), leaves (giraffes), or chicken (alligators). At the same time, I enjoy throwing those things at my friends and thinking about them as the animals that eat that shaped food. Sometimes they wonder why I'm petting them and doing baby talk, but I just ignore them and keep on enjoying the wildlife.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Homelessness and $5 Gift Cards at McDonald's

Initially, I was going to write about the socioeconomic aspect of homelessness but it ended up being too complex and there were too many problems, without enough solutions, for me to write about.

Lately, I've been encountering a lot of homeless people asking for money. The issue with me is not that I'm a cheapskate or aloof on the matter of homelessness, but rather that I can't tell if he (I'm going to use he, his, him instead of he/she, his/her, him/her throughout this blog) is deserving of help or if he is going to buy alcohol with the money (my main concern). Well, I think that no matter what the person's walk of life, he deserves to eat. So, I was wondering how I could give homeless people money and guarantee that it wouldn't be spend on alcohol. At first I wanted to take the person to lunch myself and get in a conversation about how he ended up on the streets. But, that might make him feel ridiculed and he probably would rather not eat than have to tell someone about his life. After some tossing and turning at night I finally came up with a solution that I think makes sense: $5 gift cards from McDonalds.

Yesterday I went to McDonald's to pick up gift cards that I could hand out to homeless people so that I could make sure that my money was going towards feeding them instead of to alcohol. I can't stand the sick feeling of lying and saying "I don't have any change" when I really could have helped that person out. I want to kick my own ass every time I insincerely say "Sorry ,man", when I really want to say "Sorry, I don't trust that you'll spend it on food and I'm too stupid/lazy to think of a way to help you".

I can see how gift cards might not be something that everyone wants to adopt because $5 is a lot to plop down for a single donation. I wanted to get $3 gift cards, but the minimum amount is $5 on a card. Additionally, they have to scan each (blank) card and write in the value, which took about 15 minutes to complete. Still, I recommend that if you feel that this society has given you enough for you to give back, please go pick up a few gift cards.

We need to take advantage of the fact that there is a McDonald's in every neighborhood. What I'm going to do is to write an e-mail and send in a letter (better option). I'll post with the contents of that letter. Basically, I want McDonalds to start carrying $1, $2, $3, and $5 pre-valued cards so that anyone can buy them and use them as money for homeless people without using cash. It would be ideal if there was a website where people could order these gift cards and have them mailed to their houses. It's a win-win-win for donaters, homeless people, and McDonald's. The donations would also be tax deductible, so that everyone can be sure that the government helps out on this too.

If you believe in this idea as much as I do, please follow suit and e-mail and mail a (signed) letter to McDonald's. All you'll need to do is copy and paste what I'll post in my next blog. Details on what to write and where to send it will follow.

Change three: help the homeless.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Bloggy and Vloggy Style

I bought an HD camcorder awhile back, intent on making some video blogs but I just haven't done anything yet. To force me to do it, I'm going to say right here that I will post my very first video blog on July 8th - no matter what! Look for it here, and on Youtube. T-minus 25 days.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Google Me Bitch

Today I googled "motivational procrastination" and my blog came up 6th on the list. I realize that "motivational procrastination" are not very commonly used together and I did search on my own computer so google may have adjusted for that, but I still think it's cool.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Modified Types

Early on in our lives we're able to date just about anyone. My first girlfriend, in 6th grade, was some prudish, stuck up white girl. My second girlfriend was a hottie taller (like 3" taller) white girl who I just happened to tell was "fine" at some school dance. My third girlfriend was another white girl, this time with glasses, big boobs, and was, at best, a 4.5. My fourth girlfriend was a quiet japanese girl, who I asked to go out with me, then who dumped me after a week went by and I didn't call her. Needless to say, just like all other kids my age I had nothing in common with these girls except wanting to have someone to make out with and tell my friends that I was going out with.

In high school I dated a complete bitch/slut, a girl too hot for me (at the time - those don't exist anymore), and two that might have been my type. In college I went out with two girls, both of which I loved and formed deep connections with.

The point is that as I got older I sort of modified the type of girl that I'm interested in. Everyone does. I can tell who will be a waste of time and who has potential for myself just by looking at a woman. For instance, unless some very unique individual comes along, I can tell that a taller woman is out of the question. I can pretty much also rule out blondes (I think), black, hispanic, and indian women, women under 20 and over 35, hippies, rockers, ghetto girls, and druggies. These filters aren't there because of my personal preferences. They're there mainly because I don't think that any of them would be attracted to me. Since I have these modified types, I assume that women have them too and automatically count myself out of a lot of possibilities.

There are good and bad things that result from these filters. It's good that you kind of realize who you'll get along with easily, but it's bad that you'll tend to stay more within your comfort zone and not explore other types. It's also bad because you might get along with someone really well that you wouldn't have thought you would have based on looks or social status alone.

My second change is: remove all filters for meeting and conversing with people.

Why Attractive Women Are Airheads

I'm pretty bold and confident (something I haven't decided if I should change or not), so when I'm out and I see a beautiful woman that looks like she's of my modified type (more on that later) I don't really hesistate to make conversation and attempt a few lines of witty banter. One thing that I've found is that almost every single one of those women is a complete airhead. At first I dismissed it as lack of interest on their part but then I've had some of those girls' friends or the girls themselves say that they think I'm cute or funny or something, yet they still have nothing to offer.

I was thinking about why that is and going over a few interactions in my head and what I came up with is that they never developed any social skills because 1) guys don't give a fuck what a hot girl is saying, 2) the girls think that guys expect them to be airheaded, and 3) they have never been forced to be witty or seen possible benefits of aquiring such abilities. But, I do care about what a woman has to say. I'm all about appreciating a woman with a mind that I can respect and treat as my equal. That's why part of my change is to never step foot in another club unless it's out of obligation. The last time I went to a club it was useless to try to talk to girls because all they want to do is drink and dance. And, even the ones that you can tell were dragged there and you might like to talk to you can't because the music is too loud. I've decided that clubs are for losers who can't hold a conversation.

Since clubs are now useless in my book, they should be used to house these types of useless women who go out: ones who can't hold a conversation, ones who go out solely to "hang with the girls", ones with boyfriends, ones who get wasted to the point of needing someone else for support, ones who are over 45 (and that's stretching it), ones with kids that are home alone, virgins, cheaters, and ones who are homeless (I dunno, just threw that in there).

So, first change: no more clubs.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Take From the World

Are you the rock or the stream? The rock sits in the stream and the water flows naturally around it. The rock just sits there and takes in what the world has to offer. It figures out how things work and tries to understand its role in the world. The stream tries to move the rock. It’s never consistent and is always trying to use forceful ways to move the rock. The stream wants to make the world adjust to its own vision and create its own place in it.

Lately I've been doing a lot of introspection, battling myself over what changes I should and shouldn't make, and trying to figure out what would make me a better person. It really depends on three things: who you're talking to, what book/article you're reading, and what walk of life you're in. Some of my (guy) friends say, "hook up with as many girls as you can. " Some of my (girl) friends say, "you’re a good catch, don’t change." One book says, "this will teach you to love, not to be promiscuous." Another books says, "we will give you 11 openers and field-tested strategy on how to close the deal". My past life said, "settle down, marry, and have a family. " My current life says, "what the fuck is going on here (he’s kind of a jerk and has a limited vocabulary)?"

There have been times in my life when I've made radical changes and emerged a better person. But since college, I've been basically the same person (besides those 60 Days, during which I changed my status more than my character). People usually look for drastic change because they're unhappy in their situation or depressed in general. But, I'm not really either of those - I just think that life can be better and I want to live it instead of just living (cliché, I know, and I’m sorry). That's the thing though - how do I have these experiences? What experiences do I want to have? More importantly, what experiences to I not want to have?

All of my life I’ve given to this world and been what I thought it wanted me to be. I never ditched class; I stayed away from drugs; I went to college; I waited until college to drink; I studied hard; I gave my all in relationships; I got a steady job; I contributed to my community; I gave thanks to God (in my own ways); I helped others; I smiled; I shook hands; I gave compliments; I had good intentions; I previously devoted myself to another; and I voted Democrat.

Now I want to take from the world! The world has so much to offer but I’ve always been it’s bitch instead of the other way around. There are so many interesting people out there and sights to see. Lately, I’ve met at least three girls that I thought I would get along with really well but I didn’t pursue any of them. I think that I've always been in these long relationships and, as bad as it sounds, they've held me back in a lot of ways. Another person was always part of how I defined myself. There's nothing wrong with that, per se, but after each break up I was left with this huge gap and I was half of a person for a few months.

My dilemma basically boils down to two problems: getting rid of the present me, who I like, and never being able to be that person again; and compromising my morality. I think that right now I'm still pretty decent husband material that would attract a nice girl. But, 1) there aren’t very many nice girls out there and 2) I’d probably mess it up anyways. Who’s to say that nice girls are my type anyways? I love emotional clusterfucking, freedom fighting, and navigating my way out of the circle of blame. I can’t respect a girl that is too nice and does everything that I want, but I don’t want to be with a lying bitch either. It sucks that smart/clever girls who are independent almost always end up being bitchier as a consequence. I guess that I can’t complain because I consider my wit above average and I’m a major asshole. Since I’m admitting right here that I’m an asshole, then I suppose that the answer to my dilemma is obvious: change.

I my future posts, I’ll be documenting what changes I’ve decided on and the logic behind them. Maybe I’ll inspire some people to make changes in their own lives, so that they can begin living (seriously, that cliché again? ppsssshhhh, loser).

I am the stream. I’ll try to mold the world into what I want it to be. The rock is wiser and its tranquil future is undeniable. But the stream is plucky and its whimsical future is captivating.