Saturday, May 14, 2005

The Evolution of Man

I decided to post something on the lighter side of life.

I never understood the introduction to each Desperate Housewives episode until Quyen pointed it out to me: the evolution of woman. It starts out with Adam and Eve and Eve picks the apple from the tree of Eden. Then, it shows women in a bunch of subservient roles until one day, the woman punches the man. Then, the Desperate Housewives are shown- modern day women. That’s a pretty good depiction of the evolution of women. I suppose that women are almost equal in our society now. I wonder how the evolution of man would go…

*camera pans to clouds and picture blurs while harp music is played*

The evolution of Man would begin a little before the evolution of Woman. Man would be walking the Earth, free of worries, hunger, pain, obligation, and, best of all, sin. Then, Woman would pick the apple and Man would wish he had that rib back. For the next few thousand years, Man would then decide to keep Woman in the house where she couldn’t do any more damage. Man would hunt for food, fight wars, and sow the land and Woman would cook, clean, and make babies. One day, Man would get tired of bringing home the bacon every day, and trick Woman into thinking that she wants to be seen as an equal, and she needs a job for that. Man would soon resent his trick when Woman began wanting more and more things. Woman wanted Man to do the laundry. Woman wanted Man to cook. Woman wanted Man to clean. Woman even began to want Man to be another Woman (which actually was okay with Man, as long as he could watch). Man tried to revolt by opening strip clubs and making difficult things like Mathematics requisite for more jobs, but the damage was already done: Woman had become like Man (sometimes literally). Now Man and Woman are in a constant battle for who’s the Man. OJ Man kills Woman. Bobbit Woman robs Man of manhood. Man creates Married With Children. Woman creates Sex and the City. Man invents sports. Woman invents shopping. Man approves of the pill. Woman insists on the condom. Man puts Victoria Secret commercials on TV. Woman puts tampon commercials on TV. Woman no longer needs man due to artificial insemination. Man no longer needs Woman due to cloning. If all of this silliness continues, I think that eventually Man and Woman will be just become Hermaphrodite. I guess it would be nice to have my own boobs…

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Censored

Sorry all, my last post was removed because it was hurtful to certain parties. I thought that it was completely neutral and, if anything, an expression of my feelings for certain other parties and my sadness due to the breakup. I'm sorry that certain other parties took it that way, it was not my intention for it to be hurtful in any way. I have a lot of respect for others' feelings and I'm not spiteful or feel any hatred. I was just trying to understand the situation and get support because I feel really lost. I feel really terrible for any wrong doing on my part.

I hope, and I know, that nobody took this as an attack at certain other parties. The other parties are still the parties that I love and wish the best for. I still hold other parties with the highest regard and I’m sure my friends do too. Other parties are still good people. I think that the post was objective and just a statement of what occurred.

I wanted to apologize once again…I apologize and feel badly if context was taken the wrong way.

Maybe this issue will get resolved.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

I Got A Job (for real this time)!

Finally, I can sleep at night and stop worrying about how to set myself for welfare collection. I can stop watching episodes of Con on Comedy Central, vividly taking notes on how I could make a living in the porn industry. I can stop buying a small fries every night at McDonalds, just so that I can get the free Big Mac. Yes, it's true, I got a job. I went down to El Segundo, Ca a few weeks ago to interview with Northrop Grumman, and they let me know two Tuesdays ago that they were going to give me an offer. I'm really happy with the offer- it made my decision process a lot easier.

I have to really stop here and thank Andrew Jang for submitting my resume and hooking me up with an interview. I hope that you get a bonus dude!

The interview was actually a two day event, from Thursday to Friday. NG was nice enough to fly me down there, rent me a car (an SUV, I dunno why), and pay for room and board. I got situated on United Airlines, which I thought would be better than my usual Southwest flight, but it was worse. The legroom is smaller, and the overhead compartments are sized for purses and handbags. And on the way back, it took over an hour for them to check my bag in. I almost missed my flight, even though I arrived super early. The carry on bag check took another 40 minutes. Maybe it was just because it was LAX.

I was pretty edgy getting to the Thursday reception because it started at 4:00pm, and my plane landed at 3:00pm. Even though the reception was in the hotel that they set us up in (Embassy Suites) that's still not a whole lot of time to land, get our bags, get to the car rental office, get our cars, drive to the hotel, and change into suits. They rented us Budget cars, and a guy that I met on the plane (who was also going to the interviews) and I were waiting for over 10 minutes and no Budget bus was coming to take us to the rental site. So, I did what I always do in sticky situations- I ask myself what my mom would do. We had seen at least 5 Avis buses pass by, so I flagged one of them down that had no passengers and asked her to take us to Budget, in exchange for a tip. It worked and we made it to the reception just on time.

Basically, we got to meet a lot of the important people at the El Segundo location and learn about the company. All of that, and then the whole experience was summed up into my 30 minute interview. I thought that I did badly or just average, but I can't complain now about the results. The sweetest thing was that they set me up in the Embassy Suites until Sunday. So, I used that time to visit my girlfriend and enjoy reimbursable meals. If you ever stay at the Embassy Suites, remember this: they have a FREE bar open between around 5:00pm and 7:30pm for all residents. You just show your room key card and they give you two drinks at a time- beer and well drinks.

Well, I'm really going to miss the Bay Area. I've lived in Nor Cal my whole life. I promise not to become superficial and/or get pectoral implants in So Cal. I'll always keep it real and boo the Dodgers, Lakers, and Raiders (if there are Raiders fans left) while cheering for the Giants, Kings/Warriors, and Niners. I'm going to really miss my family and the friends that I made up here. I'll be sure to keep in touch and visit once a month, or as much as possible. On the positive side, I'm going to get to see a lot more of my girlfriend, and hopefully get to know her family better. That's something that's really important to me, and I don't know if I would get that opportunity if I lived up here my whole life.

I'm off to work for The Man, around the middle of June. Wish me luck!