A sad, but true revelation I had the other day is that the best way to get close to someone is to go through a tragedy with them. Think about the people that you are closest with. Family is always there to support you through your difficulties. Best friends are ones that are there for you other during hard times. And, soul mates are ones that can understand you and get you through anything.
My old housemate met some guy that she didn't seem initially that into, even though he had some great qualities. She wasn't ready to settle down, he lived far away, and they had a lot of differences at first. They were seeing each other for a few months until her dad sadly passed away from lingering brain cancer. It was undoubtedly the worst tragedy of her life, but he was the perfect guy about supporting her and helping her through the hard time. He talked to her every night. He bought her flowers. He visited her family. He made her tragedy his tragedy. And, this is how they fell in love.
Every cloud has its silver lining - this was it. She was able to see what a great guy he was and he showed that he had the rare ability to make her happy in the saddest of times. She's since moved out of my house to get a condo with him in Daly City. A few weeks ago they also got engaged. A lot of how your life ends up depends on how you take advantage of opportunity - no matter how morbid the situation. "Bad" things only exist because "good" things exist as well.
In all honesty, I don't think that I can be fully appreciated without tragedy. If a woman I'm with never gets sick, she'll never know how well I can take care of her. If she never has a bad day, she'll never know how I can turn them around. If she never cries, I'll never get the chance to support her. And, if she's never been mistreated or with the wrong guy, she may never realize what she's got in me.
I don't want to sound manipulative or want anyone to think that I hope my next girlfriend's grandma or dog dies, but I do have a strong desire to be appreciated. The best thing about being appreciated is that it lasts a lifetime. I know that whenever my ex'es are used by some player, they remember how honest I was. Sometimes when they laugh in public, it was because they remembered how funny I was. And, when they think about their future with the guy they're with, that guy is going to be measured up based on some of my qualities. On the downside, they'll probably also remember how conceited, stubborn, offensive, messy, and good in bed I was (oh wait, scratch that last one).
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