Saturday, October 20, 2007

Brand New

New relationships are probably the best times that I've had in my life. The hardest thing to do in this world is to be able to show someone how special and unique you are, and that you're worth their attention. During the first few weeks of a relationship, there's actually somebody there looking for those things in you instead of you putting all of this effort into trying to show them. It's nice to be appreciated.

It's such an invigorating feeling to meet someone new and find out what you can learn from them. My favorite days have been spent thinking about what the other person said and formulating new questions to ask in order to get to know her better. I've had days of winning intramural championships, snowboarding, partying, hooking up, graduating, getting hired, hiking Half Dome, and snorkeling in Hawaii. But, I'd trade any one of those days for the days at the beginning of a relationship.

The reason why I keep mentioning the beginning, and that's it, is because that's the only part that I'm good at. I always put all of my best qualities out there right away and then I sort of run out of reasons why I'm worth someone's time. I think that it's like this for a lot of people, but most others just take longer to open up and, therefore, longer to run out of exciting and new things about themselves. By that time, things have transitioned from the excitement of something new to the comfort of something familiar.

There's always that instant where you realize that you've told the other person everything about yourself and you know everything about the other person. It's concurrent with the first time that you either call him/her with nothing on your mind to talk about, go on a silent car ride, think about what it would be like to be with another (wo)man, or debate whether you want to pick up your phone when (s)he calls. In the past, I've realized these occurrences as they were happening. During those times, I realized that the next few weeks were going to determine our true compatibility. If we became bored, time to move on. If we could entertain each other with our everyday lives, not just our pasts, then things could work out.

I used to think that I was the relationship type, but I'd have to modify that definition and say that I'm the short-term relationship type. There's this episode of Seinfeld where George finds out that he starts off on a high note by telling funny jokes, but then just ruins things as the conversation goes on. So, he starts bowing out of meetings and discussions after telling a single funny joke, realizing that he's peaked in that situation and it's best to leave a good impression. I'm thinking that that's how I should be when it comes to relationships. Instead of falling in love and having long relationships, I should just bow out once I've peaked, realizing that I probably don't have anything else to give. Then, hopefully something else exciting will come along.

1 comment:

Priscilla said...

I don't think there's ever a point in a relationship where you know everything about each other. Heck I don't even know everything about me, especially since I'm changing everyday.

I actually realized last week that before college, the only times I cried at at a sad plot where when I read Where the Red Fern Grows and the end of Armageddon. I would even mock my mom when she'd weep at sad movies. We were watching Untamed Heart and she started crying at a happy point in the movie. I said, what's wrong. She said, I just know he's going to die. Shheeeesh. And here I am now, a complete hypocrite. Last week, my friend showed me her engagement scrapbook and I started to tear up. It wasn't even MY engagement.

Back to my point. To me, one of the most important parts of a relationship is the desire to know your partner, the good and the bad. Once you have decided there's nothing left to learn (and of course there still is a LOT to learn) your heart will let go because there's no reason to stay in the realtionship anymore. To me, the moments of silence, the going to bed early, whatever one might call the loss of excitement, is the point where you've started communicating without talking and you've reached a comfort zone that can only exist in a truly loving realtionship. If you realize there is nothing left to find, then you really just don't have the desire to SEE. So at that point, what's the use in moving forward?