I work with a number of Bobs, and their formal nametags always say "Robert". This got me to thinking: how the heck do you get Bob from Robert? Rob makes sense, that's fine, but Bob is just made up. I think all guys who want to be called Bob should have to change their names to Bobert.
Another peculiar name is Dick. Who the hell came up with the decision that a nickname for Richard is Dick? It makes no sense at all. I always look at a person who elects to be called Dick with a bit of concern and bewilderment. Dicks should have to change their names as well. Since Dick is too perverse to be a name in itself, all Dicks should be Dickards.
I here decree that Bobs are Boberts and Dicks are Dickards. Spread the word.
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