Thursday, November 03, 2005

Does "Fat" Smell?

So, I was dropping a deuce today at work, which is considerably less enjoyable ever since I finished reading "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown, and I found myself surrounded on both sides. First of all, there are like 15 frickin' stalls in there, so why do people have to do their stuff right next to me? I know they see my damn feet! I'm curteous enough to stagger stalls so that I give more privacy than a wall that doesn't even extend to the ground (why don't they?) and a front wall that has considerably spaced gaps between the door and the hinges.

So, I guess I was there around peak time: 8:30am (is it just my work?) because there were a TON of people in there. I guess that's when the raisin bran starts kicking in. Some guy was humming music, the guy on my right sounded like he was busting his o-ring, and the guy on my left was getting settled. I definitely know some people that can smell up an entire public bathroom, but the stink I was subjected to was different. At first I thought it was a mean deuce, but then my senses told me it was worse: "fat" smell. I was like "wtf" and looked over at what I could see, and there were tree trunk ankles over there, so my "fat" conclusion was proving correct.

So, what the hell is that smell? Is it the smell of missing places to wash that are hidden by folds or impossible to reach due to lack of flexibility? Is it the smell of overactive sweat glands from extra "insulation"? Is it the smell of pork rinds? Does fat actually smell?


Anonymous said...

what is angels and demons about?


Kathryn said...

I think the reason is that fat people just sweat more, and it gets trapped in the rolls. (Think arm pits everwhere.) Even the simple task of taking a shit may burn like 350 calories for a 350lb man.

Matt Lee said...

Angels and Demons is about a plot to destroy the Vatican. It's full of secret societies and stuff like that. Read it!

Matt Lee said...

Better blogs coming, I've just tried to make them too good, like writing essays or something. I'll just make them good enough and put them out there.

Dina said...

OMG That was Hiliarious.....My question is HOW CAN THEY NOT SMELL it?