Tuesday, August 16, 2005

It's a Man's World

I was feeling a bit slighted and downright bitter shortly after purchasing the engagement ring for my fiancée. Not because of the money, or anything having to do with actually getting engaged; it was the best decision of my life. No, it's because realized that I wasn't going to get anything back. Where the heck is my engagement ring? Or, even a diamond tooth, pendant, bracelet, necklace, watch, cufflinks, or something else a man would like to wear.

I couldn't believe that the men setting the conventions let me down this time. Shit, I want some bling bling. But then I realized the truth of it all. Every time Quyen came back from some social event or something, all of here friends went all googalie eyed over her ring. I felt pretty good about that, and further speculated that it would be a sure "fuck off" message for any guys trying to pick up on my fiancée. What more could a guy ask for than a shiny sign on his girl telling other guys to fuck off? It's like I'm buying a piece of real estate on her body. Maybe in the future, we'll save ourselves the financial burden and just buy tatoos to slap onto our fiancée's foreheads. That's not much different that a dot on the forehead in Indian culture. Those guys are onto something...

But the issue still remains, why am I getting slighted? Well, I'm not. It's a Man's World after all, have faith my brotha. The logic is this: men don't want to admit that they're taken. Women want to be taken, but men don't. I'm not talking about my particular situation, just why the conventions are as they stand. Wearing some engagement paraphernalia would totally fuck up a man's game, so some wise group of bachelors decided that men would get nothing in return for engagement rings. Seems backwards at first glance, but good thinking guys! You guys are so smart!

Legally, you can't own another person. But, and engagement ring around her finger is damnnn close to owning a woman. Meanwhile, no amount of money can buy real estate on a man. That is, until the wedding band...

7 comments:

Random Engaged Girl said...

Yea, your logic makes perfect sense except that guys are way too distracted by a girl's other, uh, assets to notice the ring. Admit it: most of the time guys are too absorbed in trying to make contact with her face and not her chest to notice anything else. Now, maybe if you have invested in a little more bling-bling...

Jasleen said...

Ah so the engagement is not a lie?
Still proof like a pic of Quyen with a rock would be great.. just to confirm that its not the mother of all lies that you perpetrated like Vegas weddings etc etc.
Nevertheless Congratulations Matt:-)

jon cheung said...

matt...congrats. we need to catch up.

Andrew said...

Heh heh heh. The expense of that ring is just the beginning, my friend. They make you pay coming in, and they make you pay getting out.

See? Look at the "random" girl. She's already busting your balls to spend more on bling for Quyen.

I asked a guy at work about this, why he would spend $10k or more on a freakin' chunk of carbon. That cash could go towards a house, a car, a business, investments, you name it. But no, you have to sink it into an expensive rock.

So he says, "yeah, you could look at it like that. Or, it could be thanks in advance for carrying each of my children for nine months." Put that way, it makes more sense.

Congratulations Matt! By buying that ring, you have made an investment in the future (don't mess it up, Quyen!). Trust me, that diamond looks a lot better than a tattoo on the forehead.

Eric Jones said...

Andrew what the hell are you talking about? You know how many malasian mail order brides would be willing to carry your "short short short short short crypt" baby around for more than 9 months? They'd probably be willing to carry a baby around for 43 months.

Now Matt is another story.

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Matt Lee said...

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