Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The Most Dangerous Place in America

When you think of dangerous places, what typically comes to mind are ghettos, possible terrorist targets, mafia hideouts, drug houses, nuceleur plants, and Deroit Pistons games. But many don't realize the dangers of what looks like an orinary parking lot in an ordinary neighborhood. Five minutes of observation is enough to convince onceself that this is, indeed, the most dangerous place in America. The place that I'm talking about is: an Asian Supermarket Parking Lot.

Some stereotypes are true- asians being bad drivers is one of them. Nowhere else have I seen such disregard for rules or lack of skill behind the wheel. Ever see a head on collision at 5 mph? Go check out your local Ranch 99. I know that everyone's learned a 3-point turn in driver's ed, but have you ever seen a 20-point turn? Follow the fishy smell. Ever seen a full parking lot with only half of the spots actually occupied, with each car diagonally parked in the parallel spots? Go where the old lady who smells like moth balls is coming from.

If you ever find yourself at one of these places, you'd better be ready to dodge cars or else give in and try to be the last one standing like it's demolition derby. When on foot, be ready to dodge cars like it's the running of the bulls. Drivers probably aren't trying to hit you or run you over, but it sure seems that way. It's like a sick game of Frogger just to get from your car into the store. But it's worth it for the milk tea.

3 comments:

Andrew said...

Follow the smells, I love it! It's so true!

Eric Jones said...

Alternatively you can go to the asian aisle at your mainstream market like safeway...it's bumper carts man...watch out!!!

Kathryn said...

I shop at Ranch 99, and I've been in 8 accidents in 6 years, and I'm only half Asian. Imagine if I were full Asian...