Saturday, May 14, 2005

The Evolution of Man

I decided to post something on the lighter side of life.

I never understood the introduction to each Desperate Housewives episode until Quyen pointed it out to me: the evolution of woman. It starts out with Adam and Eve and Eve picks the apple from the tree of Eden. Then, it shows women in a bunch of subservient roles until one day, the woman punches the man. Then, the Desperate Housewives are shown- modern day women. That’s a pretty good depiction of the evolution of women. I suppose that women are almost equal in our society now. I wonder how the evolution of man would go…

*camera pans to clouds and picture blurs while harp music is played*

The evolution of Man would begin a little before the evolution of Woman. Man would be walking the Earth, free of worries, hunger, pain, obligation, and, best of all, sin. Then, Woman would pick the apple and Man would wish he had that rib back. For the next few thousand years, Man would then decide to keep Woman in the house where she couldn’t do any more damage. Man would hunt for food, fight wars, and sow the land and Woman would cook, clean, and make babies. One day, Man would get tired of bringing home the bacon every day, and trick Woman into thinking that she wants to be seen as an equal, and she needs a job for that. Man would soon resent his trick when Woman began wanting more and more things. Woman wanted Man to do the laundry. Woman wanted Man to cook. Woman wanted Man to clean. Woman even began to want Man to be another Woman (which actually was okay with Man, as long as he could watch). Man tried to revolt by opening strip clubs and making difficult things like Mathematics requisite for more jobs, but the damage was already done: Woman had become like Man (sometimes literally). Now Man and Woman are in a constant battle for who’s the Man. OJ Man kills Woman. Bobbit Woman robs Man of manhood. Man creates Married With Children. Woman creates Sex and the City. Man invents sports. Woman invents shopping. Man approves of the pill. Woman insists on the condom. Man puts Victoria Secret commercials on TV. Woman puts tampon commercials on TV. Woman no longer needs man due to artificial insemination. Man no longer needs Woman due to cloning. If all of this silliness continues, I think that eventually Man and Woman will be just become Hermaphrodite. I guess it would be nice to have my own boobs…

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Pretty funny Matt...sometimes you crack me up:-p