Wednesday, April 13, 2005

#1 Type of People I Hate Most

*Bum da dum, ba bum da da dum da dummmm*

Here it is, the exciting conclusion that has been keeping America on its toes. The votes are in and the judges have confirmed. The number one type of people that I hate most is: The Man.

1) The Man
Okay, I know that you're thinking. The Man isn't a type of people- it's singular, he's a man. No my friend, you're wrong. The Man is all around us. He is Big Brother. My definition of the man is basically anybody or any entity that controls you against your will.

Most people think that their boss is The Man. If The Man is big brother, than your boss is more like twin sister. Yeah, (s)he can tell you what to do, but (s)he can't make you do squat. You have more of a partnership with your boss, like you would with your twin sister. If your sister treats you bad you can always rip the heads off of her barbies (do bad or counter-productive work) and then she'll end up telling on you (getting you fired). But you have that option (I, personally would never do that though). And, don't you think that your boss thinks that his boss is The Man? None of these people are The Man. Nobody knows who The Man is. Otherwise, he wouldn't be The Man. He would be Mr. Bush, or Mr. Gates, or Mr. Swedish Junk Furniture. The Man are the people behind the people.

Any time that you have to watch the same news over and over again, it's because of The Man. Any time that some new crap ass car comes out with 50 miles to the gallon, when really they can make cars that get over 200 miles to the gallon, and we are supposed to feel excited about it, it is because of The Man. Whenever an African American community is held down by drugs or vices to keep them in ghettos, it is because of The Man. Even whenever you have to pay a speeding/parking ticket, a property tax, a "processing" fee, a hidden bank fee, or just pay for anything that should really be free, it is because of The Man. Even if you just wanted to live on your own land and hunt and gather your own food, there's bound to be some tax that you owe.

Did we really agree to all of these things that are going on?

I don't remember signing a paper allowing the use of my tax dollars for the attack on Iraq. I want a tax refund since there were no weapons of mass destruction found. Where is my Desert Storm II (what it really is) Refund Check? And when should I expect to get my Operation Iraqi Freedom Refund Check?

I don't remember voting down stem cell research. I remember voting for it in California. But that still is at a greatly inflated cost and with enormous restrictions.

I don't remember voting down gay marriages. My cousin, Geoff, recently made a very good point. Gay people who want to get married are the ones who really love each other the most. They're not in it for the tax breaks and they're not out making big mistakes that have divorce rates increasing each year. They're in it for the recognition and the sanctity of the union. How ironic that the people who cherish marriage the most are the ones who are unable to marry.

Why do the rich get richer and the poor get poorer? It's all because of the way that The Man set up our society and because of who he wants to take care of, and who he wants to pay the price for it. You hear all of the time about some kid coming out of poverty to rise above, get an education, and make something of him/herself. That's great. But that is nowhere near as common as the story of the rich kid who doesn't do jack and gets ushered into his fortune. And that kid who came from poverty will probably end up working for the rich kid, making him even more money.

The Man gets a piece of every pie. Every shirt that you buy, every donation you make, every TV show you really like, every steak that you eat, and every breath that you breathe is owned by The Man. Every image that gives you a good feeling inside and makes you happy was put there by The Man.

Am I bitter? At some things, yes. Am I happy? Yes. Do I feel like I need to change the world and get rid of The Man? Surprisingly, no. Somebody has to run things. In some ways, I'm glad that some of the bad things are there. Would I be doing well if others weren't doing badly? Sadly, probably not. Everything is Yin and Yang. The evils of The Man are tolerable for the order and humanity that is in our society. But like Jay-Z says: I can't help the poor if I'm one of them, so I got rich and gave back, to me that's the win-win. Meaning, allow the system to be as it is, and go with it, but don't forget about your own morals.


Andrew said...

Where can I sign up for my Iraqi Freedom refund check? That would be awesome.

Your observations about rich/poor people are interesting. I've been learing first hand that doors open for you if you have money, where these doors don't even exist if you don't. The thing is to get your foot into one of those doors in the first place.

The Man does get his piece of the pie, in fact he takes at least a third of my pie.

My advice is to find yourself an aggressive tax accountant. I lucked out and found a good one. I got all my 2004 taxes back AND some (it's all legal). It's the sweetest feeling in the world knowing that Uncle Sam didn't get to keep any of my taxes from last year.

andrew said...

Oh yeah, for those of you who haven't heard, Matt is going to work for the Man!