Sunday, February 13, 2005

Natural Selection

I was watching the NFL pro-bowl events today and I noticed that after they won most of the players said, "I'd like to thank God for giving me these gifts." But why doesn't anyone ever take the Darwinistic approach and say, "I'd like to thank my ancestors for their genetic selections"? I mean, they were basically given their physical abilities through their parents, right? You know Shaq doesn't have anyone in his gene pool who was under 5 ft tall or anything. Speaking of Shaq, have you seen his wife? She's under 5 ft tall. C'mon big guy, don't you feel like you owe it to the world to mix with someone who can give us the next Shaq? Now you're just going to have ugly babies that can't make up for their ugliness by being good at basketball. Shaq, you need to take a good look at Yao Ming's parents and tell me that you can't do the same thing. Sure, you may hate your wife and you may even hate your kids, but take it for the team u big bitch. At least donate some DNA to put in Lisa Leslie or something. What an asshole, jeez.

I definitely feel a duty to do my ancestors right and marry someone who will improve my lineage. I'd like to get a shot out some day from my grandkid or something while he's getting the Pulitzer or Nobel Prize, thanking me for combinding my nerdish genes with a brilliant woman's. I'll be honest, I wouldn't be with a woman for any substantial amount of time if I thought for a second that she would fuck up my gene pool. Not that I'm all high and mighty on who I am or anything, but I do okay for myself. On a bit of a stranger note, has anyone ever just looked at a (wo)man and not even cared about who (s)he was, but just wondered what your kids would be like with that person? There were plenty of ugly or annoying bitches that I hated in high school, but I just would have liked to have had kids with them. I mean, not even have sex with her, just have kids. Not even bring the kids up, just see how they turn out. Not even care who the kids are, just wonder what they look like and what they achieved. This is probably how airline pilots and male stewards fine their vocation. Perfect way to have kids around the country, or the globe- have your work pay for it.

Back to reality, so far I feel like I'm going to do my ancestors right. I haven't talked about her really, but Quyen Nguyen is really a special woman with beauty and brilliance in one (small) package. On top of that, she's got a personality and a heart that amazes me every day. Happy Valentine's Day baby. <3

2 comments:

Andrew Jang said...

These professional athletes probably don't know a damn thing about genetics. These guys probably scraped through their academics in college while their NCAA coaches jacked them up with testosterone esters and they were pampered by their alma mater. Shaq doesn't give a shit about creating the next genetic freak of nature, he just wants to live the good life and get some tail.

I feel exactly the way you do. If I ever have children, it will be with a woman who is beautiful and has a sweet disposition. Most importantly, she will be smarter than me. Brains still rule in this world. Hopefully those kids will have looks and brains. Time to make lots of money.

Anonymous said...

<3...Oh I get it...heart...love. I think I just threatened your lineage with that one. Happy V-day (aka Single Awareness Day!