Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Goodbye to Goodwill

Wow, I just finished my community service at Goodwill. Everyone that I tell that I'm done keeps saying "wow, that was fast." Yeah, well I guess if you're on the outside looking in, it may seem fast. But not when you're spending 10 hours a day picking up clothes and wracked with allergies that make your head hurt when you sneeze. Not when you're looking at your watch every 5 minutes, thinking that it's been 30 minutes. Not when you're forced to check if your watch is broken every night when you get home, actually thinking that it runs backwards when you're not looking. My allergies made me so tempted to just start using shirts as handkerchiefs. The last two days were hell. There was this $2 sale, where all clothes were $2. Needless to say, tons of people showed up and started just throwing clothes on the floor. Guess who had to pick them up and hang them again? Yo (points to self). I've never had allergies that bad before. Two consecutive nights I was unable to sleep because I couldn't breathe or my nose would start running and wake me up. On a positive note, I was able to donate $3000 of goods for my tax deduction.

I mentioned sneezing in the paragraph above and it made me think of the most painful thing that your body does to itself. Has anyone ever woken up in the morning or ran to the bathroom with a bladder full of pee, barely making it there, and letting loose with full velocity? I'm sure everyone has. But have you had the unfortunate circumstance of also catching an itch on your nose and having to sneeze at the same time? You're already peeing at maximum force, and then this huge gush tries to make you pee even faster...that just plain sucks. It's like there's a little implosion right there in your privates. Why Body, why would you do that to me? Next time I have to sneeze while peeing I may just hold my nose closed and blow out my eardrums instead. Then we'll see who's boss. Bitch-ass Body.

I keep promising to write about my court experience, and probably nobody cares anymore (or ever cared) but I'm a man of my word and I'll get that out since I'll have more time because Goodwill is overwith.

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